The biggest lesson I’ve learned is to give myself grace. I don’t have to be perfect to be worthy. My identity isn’t defined by a single sport, performance, or day, it’s defined by how I care for myself and others, how I keep learning and growing, and how I find joy in what I do.

But know, even though I am still struggling with breaking through the stigma of counseling and talking about it, I have enough tools to never let myself fall as far as I once did. I encourage you to seek the help you need and remind yourself you are not alone, and whatever you are doing, it's good enough!

While I do have moments where I struggle with my eating disorder, I remember how miserable I was and how much of life you miss out on life. I see online and in person just how prevalent EDs are in the running community. It's important to know that you are not alone and there is help out there for you.

Mental health is not anything to brush over. I know how scary the thoughts can be. I know how bad it can get. Because I was in it. Hearing “it’ll get better” every two seconds doesn’t help, but I can promise I’ll understand and I’ll be there to listen to those who are going through similar situations.

I was only 15 when I started cross country and track. My freshman year of high school. I fell in love with it. And I knew that I wanted to go to college for my sport. I spent all of high school running varsity for cross county and track. Through lots of workouts and races and setbacks and friends and team trips, I made it. I got offered a scholarship to a small school up in north Georgia. After all these years my hard work had paid off. I was ecstatic. I had so much fun and I met so many great people. And during that time I found my niche and became an even better runner than I ever have before. I ran long distance.

I’ve always hated losing—not just in sports, but in everything. Competing was how I made sense of the world, and winning felt like breathing. It wasn’t about being better than others—it was about proving I deserved to be there.

I am writing this story to help people feel less alone. I want to change the unhealthy stigma and silence surrounding mental health that we lose so many people to, and often, it is something that we feel we have to hide.  Nobody should have to pretend like they are okay when they are not. Anyone can be impacted by mental health and it is so important that we create an environment where we are here to celebrate each other’s growth and be there for one another when we are struggling.

Sports were life for most of my childhood; travel softball, travel soccer, high school athletics. Anything competitive was fun. I fell in love with the game of lacrosse my freshman year in high school. Lacrosse came naturally to me. I also took my first psychology class in high school, I was immediately hooked. I wanted to know so much about the human brain, behavior, people’s experiences and everything in between. I knew very little about mental health at the time, I was just busy living my life, playing multiple sports, hanging out with friends, typical teenage things.

It’s always been a constant battle with my mental health, but I have learned how to monitor my mental health. When I felt overwhelmed or my mind wouldn’t stop racing, I paused everything. Whether it’s taking a 1-2 hour nap or heading straight to bed, I’ve learned that giving my brain time to reset is non-negotiable. This approach saved me during my Fall 2024 semester when I got all A’s and only 1 B from my 11 classes, which made it my best semester while in college. I felt proud not only for the grades but also for the fact that I maintained my mental health through it all. I’ve always been smart, hardworking, and constantly on the go; it’s a blessing that I have so many talents and interests.  

Continued support and growing strength will help me get through it, but it is still hard. If a person you know is experiencing a long term injury, make sure to reach out and try to do something to make them feel connected to your team. Your encouragement is what helps someone persist even in times of doubt.